


One last time

by mkhhhx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Clubbing, Dancing, Drinking, Dry Humping, Feelings, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Pining, Set before No Mercy, Smoking, Smut, brief m/f, kiho monthly, trainees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 09:00:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/pseuds/mkhhhx
Summary: "But Kihyun, we won't be able to do all that anymore after we debut."





	One last time

Kihyun lies on the floor of the practice room out of breath, the choreographer shouting something but he's too tired to register the words. Hoseok next to him is a sweating mess, panting and chugging water from his bottle. Kihyun might want to ask him for help with the new choreo they are working on, later.

They get up for one more round, Hyungwon groaning from somewhere behind him, Minhyuk whispering something into his ear and the small group of eight is on the move again. The dance instructor won't show them the steps anymore, expecting them to deliver perfectly. Nobody does, but Hyungwon and that new guy, Hyunwoo, are pretty good at it.

They are working on two songs and the company has promised to record an actual video of them if it turns out good enough. The one is Justin Timberlake's "Suit and tie" and Kihyun hasn't bothered searching up the second. It's not really his style, but some other members seem to enjoy its provocative language.

They run through the choreography four more times and Kihyun can neither feel his feet nor his heartbeat properly, everything is a big blur and he's tired. It's almost midnight and he has been running around practicing the whole day on five hours of sleep.

"You can go, I expect you to come on Monday with full energy” the choreographer dismisses them, but there's more, “How are you even gonna debut if you get tired from this?" He says and maybe someone would raise their voice, defend themselves because in all honesty, they deserve to be tired. It’s Saturday and they have been practicing their dance and vocals or rap non-stop the whole week, some working or going to school in between.

Jooheon, who has piled up on Gunhee makes a sound between whistling and soft shrieking before moving a bit, locating and crawling to the nearest water bottle. It's August and the weather has been getting warmer every day, so they can't wear more than light t-shirts and shorts, changing lots of them during practising and Kihyun is sure every person in this room has been sweating half their body weight every day.

One by one, they get up on unsteady feet, some heading straight to the vending machine at the end of the corridor and others to the elevator, knowing a driver is waiting to take them back to the dorms. At least they won't have to walk for half an hour into the heat and Kihyun is already daydreaming about the shower he can get and the sleep. His bed might be about as comfortable as the floor, but the next day is Sunday and he can sleep a little longer, maybe ten whole hours. They won't make up for all the sleep he has lost, but he'll gather some energy for the next week.

 

"Hey" Hoseok walks next to him, a protein shake on hand. They are disgusting, Kihyun has tried once.

"What is it?" He smiles back at Hoseok and presses the elevator button to the ground floor.

"Wanna go out?" Hoseok is wearing a tiny tank top and he has started building muscles. It's distracting.

"I'm too tired." And broke, but that hasn't really stopped them the previous times.

"We won't be able to do that when we debut Kihyun." Hoseok reasons, all serious and Kihyun laughs, the dream of debuting an almost unrealistic one at this point.

"Sure." He simply says and gets into the van, Hoseok following and sitting next to him.

It takes the whole ten minutes of the ride for Hoseok to convince Kihyun, but he succeeds, he always does. Kihyun has a soft spot for those gentle eyes and maybe the muscles and maybe the lewd words Hoseok and himself have shared in their rare private moments.

Turns out Hoseok's mum has send him some money and Hoseok himself got paid from the place he works as a delivery boy and he wants to buy Kihyun a couple drinks, his words. Kihyun reassures him he'll pay back as soon as he can and Hoseok, oh sappy Hoseok, tells him they'll get so famous and rich sometime that it won't matter. Kihyun is jealous of his positivity.

They are dropped by at their dorm, a messy four bedroom and a bathroom apartment where nothing is ever in place and nobody wears their own clothes. Minhyuk and Hyungwon claim the bathroom first and nobody questions the fact they go inside together. They've all lost their sense of private space long before anyway.

The others wait for their turns, some snacking on whatever is left in the kitchen, because with twelve boys around there's never much food anywhere and some are quietly talking, about music and their plans for the next day. Jooheon and Seokwon have to go to work, most of the rest have to study.

Kihyun falls asleep somewhere between joining Jooheon's and Hyungwon's conversation and when Hyunwoo tells him it's his turn to shower and by a miracle there's some lukewarm water left and at least the cheap shampoo they buy in bulk smells nice. The water on his skin washes away the sweat of the day and wakes him up a bit. Hoseok has already finished and is probably getting dressed.

Kihyun steps out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. He's insecure about his bony body even when he's with his parents, but there's nothing to hide from the equally skinny, lanky or a bit chubby boys. At some point he realized they are all growing up in their own ways.

Hoseok is indeed getting dressed in the room, tight jeans and a lilac open button up, too much skin exposed. He's been working out a lot lately and is comfortable at the way he looks, a bit of muscle above his body structure, shoulders getting a little wider.

"Come here!" He says enthusiastically when he sees Kihyun, a set of clothes already on his bed. "You'll wear this!" He exhales and Kihyun inspects the pieces.

Tight black ripped jeans, a white shirt with a colourful stamp, a leather jacket and a matching choker on the side. Hoseok knows his style well and Kihyun lets the towel on his bed, looking around for clean underwear. Minhyuk has the habit of stealing his own, ‘cause they wear the same brand.

When he's all dry and fully dressed, Kihyun sits with Hoseok and they help each other do their make-up, smoky eyes and red lips, hair spiked up, looking hot as ever. Nobody else is in the mood to go out and being honest, Kihyun feels better when he's just with Hoseok. They understand each other, no judgement, no hard feelings. Just two friends going out to have a good time.

Two friends who made out drunkenly the first time they went out. Maybe in the dorm bathroom a couple times after that. Had their first times with each other. Maybe Kihyun has been jerking off to the thought of Hoseok's mouth on him for quite some time. Maybe he hopes Hoseok is thinking of him in the same way, even if it's all futile. They'll never have anything more than this, rushed sex and make out sessions here and there.

 

"Ready to go?" Hoseok asks, takes his set of the dorm's keys and sends a message to their manager, informing him that they're gonna be out. Manager Hongsik is young and relatively loose with them, so they all like him a lot and trust him when they want to do questionable, by company rules, stuff. Like clubbing.

Taxis are pricey, so they have to walk some to the nearest bus station and wait some more for the single night bus passing every half an hour. It's not crowded like in the morning and they sit next to each other, watching the road lamps switch to the city lights from outside the window.

Seoul is a big place and Kihyun has promised himself to discover every little corner, from small traditional restaurants to run down music shops. He hopes he’ll be able to make enough money to buy himself a proper camera, maybe a second hand one to capture the beauty the city holds.

Hoseok pokes his shoulder, their stop is next and the roads around them are buzzing with life. Gangam is the most well-known from its nightlife anyway. And more specifically, the gay night clubs. Kihyun never once told Hoseok about his sexuality, that for a long time even himself denied, but the other man somehow picked it up pretty quickly a couple years ago, just a few months after they started living together. Hoseok also has connections, some that can get them into the most quality clubs of the area.

He follows Hoseok around, walking from the main road to smaller dark alleys, the occasional drunk people stumbling around them, until they reach a small black door at the end of a dead end.

“That’s our place” Hoseok says opening it, a man in a suit behind, asking for their names and IDs. They make it easily to the main room, full of loud music and blinding colourful lights and smoke and bodies dancing too close to each other.

Kihyun follows Hoseok in the unfamiliar space as the older greets people he has met at god knows where. Kihyun himself keeps a low profile, smiles and waves when someone acknowledges him next to Hoseok and soon there’s space for them on a long leather couch, boys and girls sitting on and around it, surrounding a table full of drinks and cigarettes.

Hoseok somehow fishes a pack from one of his friends, takes the cigarette between his lips and lights it up, offers a drag to Kihyun. He thinks of his voice, the way the company wants him to believe he’ll become the perfect vocalist. Then he thinks of how tired he is and for how long he has held himself back from smoking. He takes the offer and doesn’t miss Hoseok’s eyes on his lips.

“I’m gonna go dance, wanna join?” Hoseok shouts into his ear, getting up, Kihyun finishing their shared cigarette.

“I’ll come in a bit” he says back and gets comfortable on the couch, watches Hoseok nod and getting lost into the crowd.

There’s a popular song playing, but the patrons are so loud that Kihyun can only make out the heavy bass, floor shaking and bodies moving to it. Girls with boys, boys with boys, girls with girls, grinding on each other, making out on the couch next to Kihyun and he was never shy, but he cannot possibly say out loud how much he wants to be touched like that at this moment.

He drinks a bit, takes down a few shots from the table in front of him and he doesn’t know if someone else was planning on drinking them, but it doesn’t matter. His throat burns and his mind starts getting pleasantly cloudy and he thinks of the last time he had sex with someone, an one night stand, not too long ago. But the last time he had feelings for someone? That was indeed, too long ago.

Hoseok pops up into his mind and he tries to ignore it. He knows the image of another trainee, naked and panting in the gym toilet towering above Kihyun will only bring unwanted boners in times they are uncalled for, so he searches for a distraction, one more cigarette, one more shot and someone to take his attention off his silly little crush on Shin Hoseok.

He doesn’t remember how, but a girl is sitting on his lap, her hands around his nape, soft lips on his neck, on his own ones and he’s half-aware of the way his pelvis is moving, but she seems to enjoy it. They talk about rock bands between kisses, they share some favorite ones. Kihyun slips his hand under her shirt and she’s doing the same and maybe, just maybe he’s getting laid tonight and he realizes he has no means of transportation or money. It doesn’t stop him from pulling her closer and letting her mark his collarbones with her lipstick.

And then, just like that, she’s gone, off to dance with someone else and instead, Hoseok is standing in front of him, half-smile on his face and a hand extended to him. Kihyun takes it wordlessly and gets up, asks no questions, his pants awkwardly tight.

They are surrounded by the crowd and Hoseok blends in so well, his smirk, his dance moves, the air of confidence he carries, the way he pulls Kihyun close and dances on him until they are both moving under the lights, changing from a purple to a deep blue and then to yellow and Kihyun feels like he’s watching a movie.

At every change of lights Hoseok is closer, and Kihyun feels himself suffocating in the best way possible, until there are hands on his back and Hoseok is touching him, sliding his palms down the plane of Kihyun’s back, to his ass and the back of his thighs and Kihyun knows they’ll fall into that terrible trap again. The one that comes from equal parts or raw need for touch and affection.

Hoseok kisses him better than the girl who was sitting on his lap before. He kisses Kihyun sloppily, all teeth and tongues and nails sliding down his arms and Kihyun kisses back wanting to taste every inch of Hoseok’s mouth, the bitter taste of alcohol and nicotine, the bad decisions and a part of his youth that he’ll never have back.

They are up on that couch again, Hoseok is blowing smoke on Kihyun’s face, then he cups and kisses it and Kihyun knows they are both tipsy and gonna regret this tomorrow, but maybe they won’t regret the memory in a month, in a year or a decade.

Kihyun is rocking on Hoseok’s thighs, unbuttoning his shirt and mouthing, licking and he can’t hear a thing, but he imagines the sounds Hoseok is making under him, messing Kihyun’s hair and lifting up his shirt and for once Kihyun isn’t shy about his physique, knowing nobody is paying attention to them, nobody cares.

Leather on jeans is a strange feeling, but the same goes for Hoseok’s rough palms on Kihyun’s smooth body and with every trace of Hoseok’s fingers Kihyun asks for a bit more. Of touching, kissing, time for them. A bit more of everything as he tries to not think about how this night will end and they’ll both nurse a terrible hangover the next morning, maybe get lectured about their behavior.

Kihyun bites Hoseok’s neck and feels the skin break down under his teeth, smiles to the thought that Hoseok will proudly wear it the next day, will make up a story about a wild night with girls and booze and only Kihyun will know it’s from his own mouth and suddenly he wants to mark Hoseok everywhere, everywhere that other people can and cannot see, claim him as his own, a rational thought in his clouded mind.

He tries to take Hoseok’s shirt completely off and he’s stopped.

“Not here Kihyunnie, let’s go back.” Hoseok tells him and they stop moving, until the moment of confusion passes and they stand up leaning on each other, saying goodbye to people they do and do not know, but Kihyun only has eyes for Hoseok.

They have to walk back to the bus station, Hoseok smoking and Kihyun taking in the cool night air, clothes unpleasantly stuck on his body, steps heavy but his head a little clearer than it was a few minutes ago.

Luckily, the bus takes less than ten minutes to arrive and it’s almost empty, Hoseok buying two student tickets for them, the driver too uninterested to check their university cards and they sit again, opposed to each other, knowing smiles on their faces.

Kihyun wants to fall on his knees right then and there, Hoseok sitting unbothered with his legs spread, but then again only Kihyun can see his hard on.

There are not many possibilities when going back to the dorms. Someone will be awake, someone is always awake for whatever reason in the middle of the night at the dorm. They’ll either have to be really quiet doing whatever they want to do, or go straight to sleep and pray nobody opens the blinds before eleven in the morning.

Even if they sneak somewhere with Hoseok, the kitchen, the bathroom, that living room corner, nobody will bat an eye. At this point, everyone is tired, too tired to give a shit about who is making out at the dorm. As long as they have their sleep and food, they are satisfied.

Kihyun turns his attention back to Hoseok again, his head on the window and looking out. He looks perfect like this and Kihyun once again wishes he could take a photo and it would be one of his favorites. One that he would print and carry in his wallet. Maybe he really is falling for Shin Hoseok and he knows it’s dangerous, but for one more night he’ll allow himself to not care.

Hoseok turns his head, looks at Kihyun and smiles, a tired but playful grin and Kihyun wants to peck his lips, wants to runs his fingers through Hoseok’s already disheveled hair and count the little moles on his forehead while they kiss.

He wants them to have a proper conversation about what they are and what they are doing, but deep down he knows neither is ready for that. It’s just letting out some steam, pleasing that craving for human touch they have. It’s a mutual physical exchange Kihyun reasons with himself and is still not convinced.

Hoseok presses the stop button and they get up, a single door opening and closing as soon as they hop out of the bus and the ten more minutes of walking until their dorm are hell, Kihyun’s erection irritating to borderline painful between his legs but he knows Hoseok is the same, he can’t whine.

They unlock the dorm entrance and step in as quietly as possible, various tones of snorting coming from the rooms and apparently nobody is visibly awake. There is an awkward silence as they both take their shoes off and stand in the middle of the living room, the magic of the night long lost.

“I’m gonna take a shower” Kihyun declares, trusts Hoseok to see through his words and a few minutes after he steps inside the bathroom Hoseok enters and locks the door behind them, shirt already off.

Kihyun is waiting for what little warm water might be left and Hoseok steps closer, works Kihyun’s jacket and shirt off of him, kisses his spine and touches everywhere his hands can reach.

“I missed you.” He says mouthing on Kihyun’s side.

“Me?” Kihyun shreds his pants off of himself along with his briefs, gets under the water and lets Hoseok follow him.

“You, this.” Hoseok tries to explain, equally naked and hard as Kihyun.

Then he falls on his knees.

Kihyun doesn’t pester for more, feeling hands around his shaft, softly tugging and he knows he’s leaking, Hoseok licking it off and getting the head into his mouth, impatiently but there’s no other way Kihyun would want it.

It’s always like this between them, the few times it turned out to more than a heated kiss and some groping. Impatient and rushed and with Hoseok’s throat vibrating with moans rather than letting them out. With Kihyun’s hands pulling on soft strands and trying to find leverage on the nearest wall. With Hoseok’s own cock so red but left untouched, because Kihyun comes first.

It doesn’t take him long, Hoseok hollows his cheeks and flats his tongue and Kihyun doesn’t even try to make it last any longer, he’s just chasing the release he so desperately wants, thrusting into Hoseok’s mouth until Hoseok’s eyes water, coming down his throat without much warning and yet Hoseok swallows all of it, eyes looking up to meet Kihyun’s, who’s just starting to come down from his high.

The water has turned cold and Kihyun feels as tired as ever, but he’s not enough of an asshole to leave Hoseok jerk himself off like this. He sits on the edge of the bathtub to catch his breath, gives Hoseok a smirk and a promise to take care of him soon.

Hoseok just smiles sweetly and washes Kihyun’s hair.

“Turn around Hoseok” Kihyun commands when he feels like his legs won’t give up on him, he knows how Hoseok likes it the most.

Hoseok faces the wall and Kihyun peeks out of the bathtub, locating that bottle of baby oil that they all use for questionable purposes. And also it doesn’t actually contain baby oil, but it’s pretty close to it and manager-proof.

He stands behind Hoseok, spreads his legs apart and keeps his knee between them, pouring lube over his fingers and circling Hoseok’s entrance. Hoseok grinds back at him, arches his back and rubs his erection on the tiles, everything to get some friction. That until Kihyun takes his heavy cock in his hand.

He slides the first finger in with the tiniest bit of difficulty, after all it’s been a very long time since Hoseok last did this, but then he feels the man in front of him relax, let a breath out and ask Kihyun for more, so he keeps giving.

There’s no need for more than two fingers and Hoseok is moaning, thrusting, Kihyun jerking him off in time with his fingers working Hoseok open, trying to find just the right angle to make his voice a little higher, bring him to the edge.

Hoseok comes in Kihyun’s hand with strangled groans and violent thrusts, the cold water washing off what’s left off the bathroom tiles, their panting dying down along with the sounds of running water and they step out of the bathtub, sharing a look. It was good, they are tired and it’s probably later than they think.

Kihyun, who’s the most quiet and less clumsy of the two volunteers to bring clothes for both while Hoseok is sitting at the toilet bowl, muscles uncooperative and sore. He has a towel thrown over him and Kihyun helps him dress, just some shorts and a t-shirt before they are heading to the door.

“Hey” Hoseok catches Kihyun’s hand a moment before he opens the door and Kihyun looks at him confused, but then Hoseok leans down, pecks his lips more lovingly than he should and Kihyun gives in, tired and dizzy. He melts into the kiss, feeling something tingle deep inside him, but having no clue what it could be.

“Good night” Hoseok whispers against his lips and takes off for his bed before Kihyun has a chance to mutter an answer, shuffling around the dorm, jumping above clothes and gym equipment until he reaches his bed, the promise of a good sleep the best present he could give to himself. Maybe along with dreaming of Hoseok too, making out in the club, or back in his childhood home, on the confined bed, enjoying a bit of privacy. Yes, maybe he should take Hoseok there sometime.

 

When the blinds are forced open along with Kihyun’s eyes, it’s definitely earlier than eleven in the morning and for some reason he can feel too many people moving around him, Minhyun is next to his bed asking him to get up, Hyunwoo half-dressed blocking his view of the living room.

So Kihyun rubs the sleep and that terrible hangover he has off his eyes and walks to the bedroom door, only to see their manager along with another man sitting on the couch, twelve sets of eyes on them.

“They are all awake” the manager says and the other one, who Kihyun has only seen on tv and around the company a couple times, KWill, looks at them with a wide smile.

“Good morning everyone.” He says, voice soft but eyes cold and everyone is looking at each other in confusion. “I bring great news. Our company is launching a survival show!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
